Posted by tonch at 3:03 pm | 5 comments

While the above African-American and Soccer Mom have nothing to do with the demographic of USyd, eavesdropping is fun and your only option for the bus when your i-Pod headphones break again. So here are a few quotes heard around campus from the past few weeks.

In the library

Girl to man at info desk: "Is there somewhere in here where I can sleep?"

(though it's what we're ALL thinking)

Carslaw

Guy at gymnastics society booth: "HEY HANDSOME BOY! COME BUY SOME FOOD!"

(marketing major?)

Arts students walking on Eastern Avenue:

Guy 1: "You want to Chai?"
Guy 2: "Nah, I need something stronger, like a Latte"

(slow down there cowboy, one day it's latte, the next it's flat-whites!!)

Walking out of lecture

Guy: These are my girlfriend's skinny-jeans I'm wearing
Girl: They look good on you :

(after he said that, gravity bent in on itself and a nebulus entity swallowed the room)

On the 440

Guy: I really need to get one of those bus passes. Why do they call it a Travel 10?
Girl: Because you get 10 trips >_>
Guy: Oh.. yeah i'd get one but I'd have to walk all the way to Seaforth shops
Girl: Doesn't that take 10 minutes? <_<
Guy: But it's on a hill.

(i'm sure your parents will carry you, son)

This next one was in Wynyard. There was an elderly woman (1) having trouble walking down the stairs while another elderly woman (2) was patiently behind her.

Elderly woman 1: Sorry about this
Elderly woman 2: That's ok, I'm disabled too
Elderly woman 1: It's terrible isn't it
Elderly woman 2: Isn't it

Labels: 440 bus, chai latte, eavesdropping, sydney, sydney spy, sydney university, usyd

Posted by tonch at 6:12 pm | 2 comments

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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Sydney Spy Video of the Week: 7/5

Australian video of the week:

"Ship To Shore Theme"

Everyone remembers this show! I can't actually remember if it was good though, I just remember one storyline where they thought the island was going to get hit by a tidal wave. Listen and FEEL OLD.



Multicultural video of the week:

"Tales of Mere Existence - Procrastination"

American YouTube gem for all my procrastinators up in here! And perhaps the most precise sentiment in the world, after my article on why people born between 1984-1989 are superior.



How much is it you? Add a comment..

Labels: australian nostalgia, procrastination, ship to shore, ship to shore theme song, sydney, sydneyspy, tales of mere existence

Posted by tonch at 2:07 pm | 5 comments

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Sunday, May 04, 2008

Sydney Trains Bring People Together

As you'll see below in Town Hall Station:
Aren't they cute? Maybe they're waiting to get into the first carriage... or is it that our stations too cold and they're huddled together for warmth? Is Deni Hines slightly off camera? Are they sick of waiting and are in a line to drop down and start walking?

Whatever the case, they're adorable all squashed until the corner. Add a comment...

Labels: cityrail, sydney, sydney station, sydney trains, town hall station

Posted by tonch at 1:22 pm | 4 comments

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Video of the Week: 10/4

Australian video of the week:

"Bec Cartwright - Matter of Time"

Sick of filming in wild international destinations, Bec resorts to having her whole video set in Sydney Kingsford Smith Airport. WARNING: Gratuitous escalator humping ahead!



But why not? It's well lit and there's all the variety of the escalators, seats outside Gate 23 and the viewing deck.

Watch out for
2:29 - people running from the music.
2:56 - artistic shot while Bec takes five.

I'm still waiting for the uncut version in which the security guard shouts at Beckers to stop playing sillybuggers on the escalators.

Multicultural video of the week:

"Jacques Brel - Ne Me Quitte Pas" (Don't Leave Me)

Proof that French is the most beautiful language in the world. Legendary Belgian singer, Jacques Brel, gives the sweatiest performance I've ever seen for someone standing still. Can you make it to the end of this festival of contorted faces and pained expressions?



The lyrics are the impossibly romantic, things like "let me become the shadow of your shadow, the shadow of your hand, the shadow of your dog". Girls, are you seduced yet?

Shouldn't more videos be filmed in such community places as airports, parks and soup kitchens? Why is Jacques sweating so much!?? Add a comment..

Labels: bec cartwright, jacques brel, sexual music videos, sydney, sydneyspy

Posted by tonch at 2:23 pm | 2 comments

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Saturday, April 05, 2008

Sydney Train Scrums

4:00pm - Wynyard Station. The 3:42pm Western Line train rolls in with a clang and an exasperated "finally". Dressed in formal attire, branching notebooks, discussing business mergers on mobiles - the multicultural rainbow of Sydney approaches the doors.

Then FIGHT - the jousting begins. Everyone getting off the train must scrum against everyone getting on. The number players on each side depends randomly on 1) the amount of people inside the carriage and 2) the position of the doors whether it's a 6 car train or an 8 car train. The unfortunate example below, we see 31 vs. 1.

Unfortunately, he loses and he must return to the train, hold a caucus in the carriage and summon up enough morale so his team defeats the next station.

At least, this must be an explanation for why we form human walls in front of train doors. We must assume we become impermeable entities that can be walked though when the Tangara separates its mandibles. I recommend that Cityrail installs bouncers and a velvet rope in front of each door. The rebellious will be tazed.

Do you enjoy Sydney train scrumming? Are you a perpetrator or a victim? Add a comment...

Labels: australia, cityrail, satire, sydney, sydney spy, sydney trains, sydneyspy, train scrums

Posted by tonch at 12:32 pm | 7 comments

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Video of the Week: 25/3

Australian video of the week:

"21 Accents"

This American woman, Amy Walker, does impressions of a bunch of English accents from all over the world. I am impressed with her Sydney accent at 1:12! Though her "outback" accent at 1:25 is a bit cringe-worthy.



It's a good thing she didn't attempt a Tasmanian accent or she would have had to lose a finger and violate YouTube regulations.

Multicultural video of the week:

"The Romanian National Anthem - Deşteaptă-te, Române! "

Maybe the coolest and angriest national anthem in the world. Adopted very late in 1991, the 80s synths are well present, making the song easily mistakable for a Eurovision entry. The Romanian people is this video vary from seethingly bitter to uber excited to bored witless... all in the same row.



Highlights:

- Look closely at the beginning for the UNHAPPIEST woman ever to be in a red plastic cowboy hat.

- 0:49 - the woman could suck her nose clean.

- 2:59 - the man in the striped suit wins.

How does the Romanian anthem compare to ours? What do you think of Amy Walker?

Labels: amy walker, australian accent, romanian national anthem, sydney, sydney accent, sydney spy, sydneyspy

Posted by tonch at 5:09 pm | 5 comments

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Thursday, March 20, 2008

Sydney This Week In Pictures

Eastern-er Avenue

First of all, words play hide and seek with me when I try to express how happy I am with the new uber massive Eastern Avenue in Sydney University. When you see all the people there between classes, it's hard to believe they all frottaged together on that small path a third of the size.

I'm glad they're making over the university... but can't they instead make it worse so we don't have to feel sad about graduating?

Ticket Inspectors & Train Police

They're everywhere right now! It's not like they hide their identity like the ones from other countries do. So on this train, I heard the pharaonic clomping of someone descendng the stairs. She notice the guards on the other side (below), she paused and ran off the train.

I'm sure it was just an ex-boyfriend or life-coach or something.

Outside Hairdresser

Spotted in Bondi. Why not? It's like a solarium/hairdresser. Her overheads must be expensive, if she has to rent the entire outside world.


She also does Brazilan waxing - spectator fees vary depending on weather conditions. I just hope a bird does fly in and cause genital Lyme disease.

Fan of the new Eastern Avenue? Escaped some inspectors? Considering an investment in outdoor hair removal? Add a comment...

Labels: sydney, sydney spy, sydney trains, sydney university, sydneyspy, usyd

Posted by tonch at 9:22 pm | 3 comments

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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Aussie Language Lessons - Lesson 6

Having A Conversation

Here are some things that I notice us young Australians do in conversations. I'm just as guilty as you, don't worry. There are the obvious ones like saying "Hi, how are you?" just for "Hi" but you're ADVANCED Australian speakers now, you don't need that.

Beginning the conversation

If you've just run into someone on the street you know, you begin by saying out loud what you were thinking when you saw them approaching. Examples:

"I was thinking... "Is that Damien??? And it was!"

"I thought that looked like you!"

You'll hear it all the time now, slap the person when you do... even if it's you.

False modesty

Someone tells you some good news or you want to congratulate them on something you heard about. The response is usually an drawn out "nooooooooooooooo"

"Hey! Congrats on that new job! You're on the career path now!"

"Noooooooooooooooooo"

"I'm so jealous about your new cat"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, don't be"

Say something like "Thanks, I deserved it!" or "Yeah BITCH! Eat IT!"

Agreeing With Someone Too Much

For the sake of maintaining peaceful conversation, we do this to people we don't know too well.

Bazza: OMG It's so hot today

Jess: Yeah i know it's like a heat wave, I can't stand it

Bazza: Actually, that wind's a bit frosty

Jess: Yeah it's like we're in Siberia.

Saying Goodbye

Goodbye has been distorted in our Australian language. We can say "see ya" even if we know we won't see them again or "we'll meet up for coffee" even if you're allergic to it. It all just means "bye"

"Are you excite?"

Lol, that poor castrated "-d"

So let's put it all together!

Typical Eastern-Avenue Australian Conversation

Cam: Hey Jess!

Jess: Oh, I thought that was you!

Cam: Yeah I saw you and I was thinking "Is that Jess? She looks so good!"

Jess: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo, but thank you!

Cam: So are you excite for Dave's 21st?

Jess: Yeah i'm stoked, I love Dave!

Cam: I'm thinking of dogging it, he's been a bit of dickhead lately.

Jess: Yeah, i know! He's always like that

Cam: So, I have to rush off to class, but we'll meet for coffee later?

Jess: For sure, see ya!

For more Aussie language lessons, here is lesson #1, #2, #3, #4, #5 + Uni Vocab

What do YOU do? What did I miss? Add a comment...

Labels: aussie slang, australia, australian language lesson, slang, sydney, sydney language

Posted by tonch at 11:24 pm | 7 comments

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Friday, August 31, 2007

Crimewatch: Wynyard

Let's admit it, Sydney is boring. In Paris, a drug dealer was shot and killed around the corner from me, I was almost rolled on the metro by a Moroccan and Tina Arena released a song called "Je M'Appelle Baghdad" (My name is Baghdad) LINK

But today in Wynyard there was an attempted mugging. I was gayly skipping out from the station into the park near the buses. I heard some shouting I couldn't understand since I was only at the bottom of those curving stairs. Coming into the sunlight, I see a man in a suit throw his bag down near a woman then bolting after an invisible thief. Going through the park on the path next to York Street, I saw a man in orange who had just been tackled to the ground by another man - what seemed to be a phone - fell to the ground. The man in orange tried to get up but then an older man who had just caught up to him kicked him in the back and he sprawled to the floor again.

The older man picked up the phone and something else that the man in orange had stolen whle the culprit walked away with an awkward stumbling gait. His face was weathered and miserable with longish greasy brown hair tied back and no converse shoes.

So if you see someone wearing something like this around Wynyard, maybe watch your bag and phone a bit. He's clearly not one of those lovely homeless people that says "No worries" when you don't have change.

MEANWHILE, on the other side of the park... this was happening.

I don't judge.

Had any daylight crime in Sydney happen to you? Add a comment....

Labels: crime, mugging, rolled, sydney, sydneyspy, wynyard, wynyard station

Posted by tonch at 10:11 pm | 6 comments

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