Australia's Next Top Model
Season 5 started many weeks ago, but only now can I start doing recaps on it. I'll start with tonight's episode in a few days. But right now I'll talk generally about the latest batch of doughy cupcakes.
Adele - Quiet acheiver. I just hope she can solve the problem of her wombat nose before the end of the competition.
Cassi - Wow! She looks like Russian royalty, but then she opens her mouth and she sounds like British royalty. If ONLY she had a brain.... I don't think she can tidy up her walking-in-screaming-at-girls-showering-naked behaviour - but who knows. I'm sure we all wish Tyra would sit down with her for a 'rap session'.
Tyra: "When I was in Paris, all the models there were all like 'oh mah gawd, tyra you so fiiiine' so Cassi, LISSSTEN and you will LEAARRRN."
Madison - I was so sad to she her go! When everyone would sit around bitching, she was all 'Who wants lasagne?" ... who'll make them lasagne now? But how McCleods daughters two-part finale was her exit footage in the ute looking out on the desert?
Lola - She's a grinny little thing isn't she? With not one times, not two times.... but NINE times the cheekiness. All I see when I look at her is the Gilmore Girls woman, but I like her. I love how she kitsches it up for the interview parts. "YES! I don't know whoooo will go.. oooh"
Laura - She seems nice, and lucks into a shot now and then. But her face seems a little bit jowly... no? She'll probably go soon.
Tahnee - Occupation: School Leaver?? Anyway, such a sweet little thing - sometimes I have to check the station that it's not Totally Wild at St Mary Public School in Queensland for a report on a recycling and rainforests. On the one hand i like how surprisingly fashon she looks in photo shoots, on the other hand she has a mouth like a rusty lawn mower. Crisis.
Clare - I feel like she's the daughter of older parents... I don't know why. Her face is a bit smudgy and Mr Potato Head but she arranges it well on shoots... plus she has a very sophisticated walk for a 16 year old. But somehow I think she'd be better as a creepy receptionist in a naturopath health centre.
That's all? Wow time flies.
What do you think of them all? Cassi? Add a comment...
Labels: ausntm, australia's next top model, cassi, madison, recap
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4:12 pm
Labels: australia's next top model, ben, big brother, bullying, nobbi, recap, tom champion, travis Posted by tonch at
10:03 pm
Labels: australia's next top model, collagen, recap, sydney spy, sydneyspy Posted by tonch at
11:10 am
A lot of people have been buzzing about most depised girl in Australia, Demelza, and her treatment of Alamela. Well here are some pictures sourcing the model hamsters to their pre-natal compatriots. Alamela What do you think of the fair fight of Alamela vs. Demelza, Alyce, Rebecca, Jamie + Sam. Any other separated at births? Add a comment... Labels: alamela, alex, ausntm, australia's next top model, demelza, sydney, sydneyspy
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Aus Next Top Model + Big Brother
Daily Telegraph writing continues. I'll tell you, that 2.5 hour Friday slot is tough to cover.
Australia's Next Top Model Recap: Final 5 - LINK
"Alex thinks Alyce should pull her socks up, which is appropriate since her ratchet face already looks like old woman who lives in a shoe’s. "
Big Brother - Nobbi bullies Travis: Full Recap - LINK
"Nobbi was perched comfortably in his corner of the hot tub, heating the apparatus with his own sense of self-delusion. "
Big Brother - Day 42: Ben loses his spine to Nobbilepsy - LINK
"Ben starts masturbating to a picture of Nobbi he keeps in a locket that he stores in his vacant scrotum."
Add comments, there...
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
AuNTM Recap - Final 6
The Daily Telegraph knocked down my door. The tied me down and played Millsy's album until I agreed to blog on Australia's Next Top Model for them.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Australia's Next Top Model: Separated At Birth
Alyce
+ a hand rake (look at the mouth - twins!)
+ Manga Elf (also reflected in their 2D personalities. Look at the triforce ears, right-angle eyebrows, demon eyes, wilting mouth and Yoda expression)