Friday, May 29, 2009
10 Ways to Get a Computer in Sydney Uni's Sci-Tech Library
Sydney University's spanking new SciTech library has a fantastic design - it's a big evolution from the uber 70s Fisher... with its uber 80s style:
It feels like walking into Ikea - which is always a good thing. Despite an extra few hundred computers, it's still a fight to get one towards the end of semester. And with no orderly lines like in Fisher it becomes an all out Battle Royale.
Here are some tips to snagging a computer. Please take notes, like this dude:
1. Wander around big long row against the walls where you can see people coming and going. When someone starts to move - be aggressive - fighting will be required should a clash occur but if someone else is armed with a mammoth accounting text book, you've already lost.
2. Be a ninja
3. Everyone runs off to class at around 5 to any hour, so the clogs of people should start to treacle off around then. But it's also the time when everyone else finishes class - so time is of the essence before floods of economic group work students rampage in talking about 'who wants to present' ughhhh
4. Go to the scanning priority computer and say you need to scan one page really quickly. Sit down and look at Facebook. When the person who was just there asks what you're doing, sling profane and completely inappropriate racial abuse firmly in their direction until they leave.
Spy in the distance, looking through the furniture.
5. Make sure you don't miss out on any of the computers on the lowest tier of the library or the distant laptop rooms.
6. People seem to think that leaving your open book and water bottle at the computer is enough to reserve it. Feel free to shove all their crap to the ground and sit there browsing eel porn sites on their account. When they kick you off, report their marine fetish in tears to the librarian.
7. Wear a library officer uniform (so tuck your shirt into your jeans) and say you need to run a quick maintenance test on one of the laptops.
Strike while they're alone and not in group work!
8. While waiting near a squeamish looking person, talk loudly on the phone about how you've been using the lip balm of your friend who was just diagnosed swine flu. Then start coughing dramatically, splattering tomato sauce and mustard packets over the screen of the computer user.
9. Find a post-grad student polishing their thesis, then pull out their USB key while it's in use. Hang it perilously over poweful magnets or underneath that Scitech stapler until they relinquish their computer. Then your hand slips...
10. Sit on TOP of the person, and proceed as normal.
What's your Sci-Tech library strategy? Add a comment...
Labels: sci-tech library, sydney, sydney uni, sydney university
