A culture capital indeed. I may be accused of having chosen the worst possible angle but it's the Yarra's fault for having offered such an angle and doubling as a wading swamp. In fact, the Yarra was SO dirty that adding garbage would only make it cleaner, as proved by this photo below. It seems they endeavour to improve the Yarra by releasing garbage and decaying fronds into the water. Captain Planet weeps somewhere.

The Cafes

The Melbourne stock were very kind overall. The cafe staff everywhere were all very friendly. There was a general increased-garrolousness ratio that was higher than the Sydney cafe staff. Still, the forced hospitality smile of grinding cheekbones remains throughout.

It was late, in search of coffee, we walked by many cafes whose black lattice teeth had already committed to no-entry at 6pm. After much trekking, we happened upon the noise of typical dinner chatter. The entrance of this Italian cafe-restaurant was not a door, but rather an enthusiastic Polish man beckoning us with zeal and his hands. "HEY, you guys want to come in? For a coffee? Yeah! Definitely we can make you a nice coffee. You want to sit down? There's a nice table for you guys at the back". We were rapt at the convenience.

So we sat. The antsy bald Polish man ran pell-mell towards our table with a skipping/sliding motion on every second footstep. "Where are you guys from? Give me 20 seconds and I'll tell you why Australia is the best country in the world" he recited from his internal client-chatter tablet. "Ok Australia is the only place where a foreigner can come and within 6 months they can live and work. The ONLY place in the world. They can even drive a car. Best country in the world!"

His prior limitless enthusiasm was now resembling a diabetic's scrambling on adrenaline for sugar before collapsing in a twitching feotus heap. He was awkward and unpretty. "So where are you guys from?"

...

"Sydney's not for me. It's not a good environment. I went to Sydney before and couldn't stay there." The Pole's eyes told a different story now. Now they told the story of an angsty Polish man who ran to Australia after being weary of his grandfather's tales of Auswitz.

...

His opinion on Sydney was interesting for me. For a lot of Sydney people, if you ask them what they think about Melbourne, they'll say "Oh, it's nice but nothing special". It's the same humdrum tone and response like if you asked them what they think about Ricky Muscat. This man was very agro about the issue though he was probably a couple of utensils short of a Sidney Myer Music Bowl to begin with.

Other Melbournians

Something I noticed was that the people walk slower on the streets, I suppose because they know that the Yarra is always available to serve as an aquaduct. The escalators are also under a speed limit, our Sydney ones are roller-coasters in comparason. I was relieved to notice that there are still plenty of Asian folk on the streets. Many choosing to help simplify our world structure by living up to tourist stereotypes:

There were plenty of sushi shops but I was hard pressed to find standard sushi roll "Tuna & Avacado". Instead, I observed many of the native country-folk requesting the popular "Avacado Roll". Bizarre.

Metrosexuality runs rife in Melbourne, it must be something that they're drinking in the Yarra that's causing their Y chromosomes to fork off and then style each other into bow-legged, skinny jean Xs. I thought Sydney was supposed to be the ambiguous heterosexuality capital but Melbourne is a surprise winner from behind. Hmm... maybe that gay reference was too obvious... if not, go back and read it again. The "trendiness" of Melbourne far surpasses the "Hugh Jackman-ness" of Sydney in the city.

Thieving Scum

Fortunately, you could still buy Sydney postcards and souvenirs in tourist shops. Though some of them got it a bit wrong. Maybe it's a hidden angle i'm not used to my Opera House.