Sydney Spy Classic
Australian Idol - Melbourne + Tasmania
Getting back from Paris, I was of course shattered that I missed the whole Big Brother series. My friends are saying things about Aleisha and Zach and I just thought they were new workmates or something judging by the first-name basis. Things grew queer when all my different groups of friends starting mentioning "Aleisha" and "Zach" though.
But we're back to Australian Idol and that desk is looking awfully small to shelter both Dicko and Kyle at once. Marcia wears no helmet and has no partitions so the Marciaisms are being pushed out at a blinding vitesse. On tonight's show, even her ameliorating smile couldn't melt the snow of Melbourne's awful weather nor defrost the flailing vocal chords of the auditioners.
Dean Geyer appears and I couldn't help but have that awkward blank expression when confronted with his South African virginal face again. Being overseas for 6 months has let me completely skip the careers of all Jessica Mauboy, Damien Leith and Dean. Book your holidays in now guys, February - August.
Kyle still seems to not have been able to upgrade his stare-y prosthetic eyes beyond fibreglass with delible watercolour irises. Shown especially when he couldn't splash water on two immobile targets, only wet the back of the Aus Idol sign. I thought those rappers had a good point about him shopping at Supre though.
After some dull fodder contestants and James Mathison's genius of rhyming "rhapsody" with "crapsody", we have Nataylie Gauci. Mark goes into paroxyms over her being an "artist" while Dicko wants her to sing something other than original. And she goes for the LEAST original song of all time "I Will Survive". Still, she sings well but without an ethnic-adversity back-story she may just fade away like Kyle's painted-on irises in Melbourne weather.
Getting back from Paris, I was of course shattered that I missed the whole Big Brother series. My friends are saying things about Aleisha and Zach and I just thought they were new workmates or something judging by the first-name basis. Things grew queer when all my different groups of friends starting mentioning "Aleisha" and "Zach" though.
But we're back to Australian Idol and that desk is looking awfully small to shelter both Dicko and Kyle at once. Marcia wears no helmet and has no partitions so the Marciaisms are being pushed out at a blinding vitesse. On tonight's show, even her ameliorating smile couldn't melt the snow of Melbourne's awful weather nor defrost the flailing vocal chords of the auditioners.
Dean Geyer appears and I couldn't help but have that awkward blank expression when confronted with his South African virginal face again. Being overseas for 6 months has let me completely skip the careers of all Jessica Mauboy, Damien Leith and Dean. Book your holidays in now guys, February - August.
Kyle still seems to not have been able to upgrade his stare-y prosthetic eyes beyond fibreglass with delible watercolour irises. Shown especially when he couldn't splash water on two immobile targets, only wet the back of the Aus Idol sign. I thought those rappers had a good point about him shopping at Supre though.
After some dull fodder contestants and James Mathison's genius of rhyming "rhapsody" with "crapsody", we have Nataylie Gauci. Mark goes into paroxyms over her being an "artist" while Dicko wants her to sing something other than original. And she goes for the LEAST original song of all time "I Will Survive". Still, she sings well but without an ethnic-adversity back-story she may just fade away like Kyle's painted-on irises in Melbourne weather.
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When we return, we have pushy mothers and their identical daughters. I loved the segment with Karla Tonkie-something being pupeteered by her mum telling her it was her dream etc. Cut footage: Hannibal moment of her scalpelling off her daughters face and elbowing her way into the audition room to sing Fallin'/Ain't No Sunshine apostrophe melody.
Yet the highlight of the show, the series and television history was Scheryl Inningsbridgeworth... i don't remember her real name but it was the 62 year old woman pretending to be a 30 year old. Obviously she thought wearing her hat tilted like that would let her get away with it instead of peddling in with her lawn-bowls scooter. She sang like a casserole but let's look at some of her quotes
"I have a right to look like this, it's the industry that did it to me"
"Youse all got fooled!"
Then we see her invert the sentence in shifting the subject and the predicate:
"Fooled youse all"
A grasp of English of that calibre could exponge the grease off Holden's flimsy hold of the language.
Julie Anne next who says that she's submitted thousands of her demo CDs to radio stations etc. Naturally, her voice is a shamble and i'm sure we all just felt sorry for her. It appears she never got the chance to actually listen to any of her 1000s of CDs she sent out but Holden goes off an teases this poor deaf donkey with a carrot-flavoured microphone for what seems like 2 hours. Dicko says she was a "mental breakdown". Marcia notes she put "music person" on her application then says... in a tone that sounds like Marcia was just diagnosed with a complicated sounding Latin disease... "What does that meaaaan?". I need that as my ringtone.
Long-haired asian
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Marcia quote of the week #1: "Hey listen, enjoy!" to Jack Byrnes while he's leaving.
Marcia quote of the week #2: "Someone has to teach you how to find the MEL-O-DEEE"
Anthony Nuku gets wheelchair sympathy. Andrew G reacts by pushing him into chairs then adjusts his hair in the camera monitor.
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So then we pop over to Mildura to Jessie who sings an original "Shiver For Me". Sure it's a pretty song that sounds like a Missy Higgins/Lisa Mitchell test tube baby.. but it's nothing special. Naturally Mark Holden does some Yeltsin dancing over finding a real artist. Shockingly though, Jessie then leaves the room and comes right back dressed as a man named Dewaynne Everett Smith who sings the same pop-rock-acoustic dilute. I didn't think that was in the rules. As James said "A troooly original singerrrr" indeed.
Marcia quote of the week #3: "Work those vocal chords, amen!!
Back to Melbourne where Husny Thalib the arabic-asian comes. Racist Holden says ""You're asian and you're arabic? Then how will you park your explosive car into Picadilly Circus?" Ok, he doesn't but after the segment of him mispronouncing ethnic names for 20 minutes, he may as well have. He sings pretty well and his piercings and make-up are a welcome relief from 12 consecutive Lisa Higgins.
...but then comes Jacob Butler again. Freshly rejected from X-factor + Australian Idol 2005: Laura Gissara... he returns again like an Australian Idol Batman villain. Ready to attack the world of amateur singing with a style SO dated that Holden himself doesn't even remember it. He gets through and Marcia delivers a wonderful one
Marcia quote of the week #4: "That's called "waiting to exhale" "
So tomorrow's show is Sydney! I see that Kyle and Dicko are behaving themselves for the moment, hopefully the producers will shake their cages soon enough. One thing is for certain, Marcia only gets better with age.
Liking this season of Idol? Don't you wish you were Deni and Marcia was your mother? Can someone sum up what a Zach and Aleisha are for me? Add a comment...
Labels: australia, australian idol, dicko, jacob butler, kyle, marcia hines, melbourne, quotes, reality tv, recap