Cheap Australian Music
As a nation, we have a lot to be proud of. We were founded by convicts and our mountains aren't gawdy and obese like those Swiss ones. One thing we simply can't be proud of though, is our music industry. We could possible have the worst CD covers and music videos in the world. We don't even have the grace to make the covers a single colour with the artist's name in tiny writing like dance artists do to look minimalist and edgy.
Instead we're subjected to THIS:
Shannon Noll & Natalie Bassingthouuuwayyaigghhyyhhyt - Don't Give Up
Yes, I agree, don't give up your day job unless this day job is being autistic. I'm not sure what's happening to Shannon Noll's appearance but it seems his beer is catching up to him followed by a barrage of rodents proving true Darwin's theory of convergent evolution (SEE: SHANNON'S FACE).
The video's even more embarrassing but my Lithium dealer's on Chrissy hols til Jan 2nd so I'd best not venture down that thorny path.
It looks like a bunch of ice-addicts are screaming at them to "ACT NATURAL" until they have fossilised until cardboard cutouts.
Marcia Hines - Discothèque
While it's a given that Marcia Hines is the Sun, I find her choice offensive of putting her own disembodied head floating through space on her album cover. Looks more like the cover of some cult pamphlet for a free I.Q. test to achieve enlightenment.
We can see Madame Hines crossing cultural fronteers by putting the accent è over discothèque. Pure class. If you'd like to ènjoy putting accènts on è's, just hold down ALT while pressing 0232 on the numpad and unleash your badself.
Melissa Tkautz - Easily Affected
This one is a music video. It's not actually such a bad video except it's hard to take it seriously since it was filmed in the glamourous location of Martin Place Station. I'm glad i wasn't the only person who noticed those funky massive escalators and thought MUSIC VIDEO.
I like when she forlornly approaches the barren ticket booths. It would have been a sexier vid had she stuck her tongue in the coin slot of the ticket machine. Or maybe she should have tasted the "condom water" of the random bubbler on the platform. Ah well, in a perfect world.
Bec Cartwright Hewitt - Matter of Time
This video doesn't seem to be on YouTube. Either way, it was pretty sad since it all took place at the escalators at Sydney Airport. That's all, no story... no second camera. Good times.
Tina Arena - Italian Love Song
I don't know how Australia's favourite ex-pat could go from out #1 recording artist to working at Payless Shoes Paramatta (educated guess). I guess that's why she wandered off to France. I can't upload the photo of the whole single cover and I'm too impatient to fiddle with it. So here's the close up of her head on the cover at least.
Is it sexy? Does she want to vomit?In any case, these are just a few examples. At least we're fortunate to have some sort of a national music industry at all. We live in a country that gives unlimited chances to people like Deni Hines and Tamara Jaber and for that... I black out a little... but after that I feel proud.
Do you like our music industry? What other shocking examples are there? Add a comment...