Sleeping in the University Library
Sometimes at university you're tired and since the Union doesn't want to bring in public beds, you may need to go to Fisher library for your power nap. So here are some quick tips, new university students take note (because all new uni students take SO many notes).
Vital tips
#1 Do your best to resist having your tongue unravel out on to the desk. It's pretty unseemly, makes you vulnerable to used-gum related pranks, and other peoples tongues have probably already been on the desk.
#2 In a sleeping state, your bodily noises will have no reason not to cascade out.
#3 Night terrors are totally embarrassing. Especially the naked ones.
#4 Wringing your term paper can be very damaging. So try to avoid drooling, this can involve inventing a mouth apparatus out of slip sheets and a funnel.
#5 Everything else in the library is silent so your sleep-talking will have a captive audience. You may awake and realise you've just been revealing your deepest darkest secrets like your cockroach phobia and where you hid the body. There's an easy fix, just pretend you're a COFA student doing installation art.
#6 Don't bring your own pillow and blanket. You can lie on your bag if you like but zipper imprints are so Emo.
#7 Try not to fall asleep on your homework. Having the "Four 4 Ms of Commerce" transiently tattooed backwards on your forehead may bring cheating accusations.
#8 Matrices may be exciting but let the girls use their imaginations, guys.
#9 Requesting to have the lights turned off may be greeted by even sourer expressions from the already Warhead-ingested library staff. Turning them off yourself would be rude.
#10 If you're going to fall asleep in Fisher library at Sydney University, at least do it somewhere less open.
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