Sydney Spy Classic
Australian Language Lesson - Lesson 5
Recently my camera broke, and a tragic sports injury has left me without a working foot (for the time being). So my spy + walking abilities have been suspended. Therefore, it's time for another tremendous Australian Language Lesson! *fanfare*
Today's Lesson: Nicknames
Today's is a valuable lesson. Afterwards your coping ability in Sydney will shine like an albino in the Sun. So ignore that last sentence and soon you'll learn how Australian nicknames are a truly multigrained part of our encultured society. Whoops, i mixed up my "multi" and "en" prefixes there... eeh it's better than "guestimation".
Of course Australia has all the standard nicknames that other english countries use (e.g. John = Johnny). Yet it also has many more variations. The ones that will be discussed are all name-based nicknames since there are obviously character based nicknames too but they don't really have a formula to them. Aside from adding a -y sound to their most prominent characteristic (stinky for those who stink, fugly for those possessing lots of fug).
Australian nicknames fall into three main categories -zza, -sy and -s. These shall be explained.
-zza
Examples:
Barry = Bazza
Maria = Mazza
Tonch = Tozza
Yasuko = Yazza
Hermione = Hazza
Cheryl = Schazza
Bree = Breeza
Almost all names can be azzafied. The structure is simply just yanking the first phonetic syllable and adding an -zza at the end. Sometimes for longer names, a different syllable will be used as the stem.
-sy
Examples:
Rob Mills = Millsy
David Hookes = Hooksey
Ryan Fitzgerald = Fitzy + Ryzie = Fryzie
Alan Jones = Jonesy
Brisbane = Brizzie
Jess = Jezzie
Can also be a -zy lopped on the end, or even just -y, all depends on which sounds better. For some reason the media goes crazy over -sy nicknames. This conjugation usually needs an "s" sound somewhere in the original.
-s (note: a shortened version of the name is required first)
Example:
Kylie = Kyles
Schapelle = Schapps
Epponnee-Rae = Epps
Sheilla = Sheels
Nicole = Nics
Of course sometimes the shortened version is just left by itself or a -z is added.
All these rules go back to the nature of Australians and our language that slurs and mumbles.
Other
Of course there are exceptions.
People with red hair = Bluey
Older Australian generations have some habit of naming the person with something that was the opposite of their distinguishing feature.
Ian Thorpe = Thorpedo
Making some sort of irritating pun can be made out of a variation of your name that connects to one of your traits. In this case, it refers to Ian Thorpe and the speed at which he denies gay rumours.
Jennifer = Jenners
Particular cases can add an -ers.
Tim = Timbo
Just distort the name somehow to attach an -o sound at the end.
Brisbane = Bris Vegas
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nicole Kidman = Our Nic
Dreadful thing the tabloids do. Whenever there's an Australian celebrity doing well overseas, they become "Our..."
And of course all character-related nicknames
But which one do I use?
You'll need to use your elite sense of judgement for this one. For example, with a name like Maureen your main choices are:
Mazza
Mozza
---
Mausy
Mauzzie
---
Maurs
Moz
They all sound ok, it becomes a matter of preference. In other cases, you'll have to be more creative. Those rules above are just for direction, don't start worshipping them or anything. A name like Sydney has its difficulties
Syzza
---
Sydsy
Syddy
Sydzay
---
Syz
Syd
---
Sydders
They're all terrible. Imagine someone walking down the street and saying "Hey, let's go to Syzza". They'd be the kind of person who still carries a boombox over their shoulder, playing Rhythm is a Dancer. "Syd" is okay, but it's a bit plain for spoken language. In this case you probably would leave the name untouched.
Worst Nicknames
Brisbane = Bris Vegas (wtf?!?)
Asian people = Yellow fever
Presdent Bush = Bushitler (You can do better than that! Lol)
Howard = HoWARd (J-Ho is much better)
Lads = This is a newish name for those guys in high school who wear polo shirts and always talk about "getting maggit". "Jocks" as some people call them.
Celebrity Australian Nicknames
Here are some i've thrown together, these aren't official or standardised or anything ('cept the last one).
Homer = Hozza
Pikachu = Chazza or Pachazza
Lynette = Lynners
The Wiggles = Wiggzy
Sandra Sulley = Sandy
Angelina Jolie = Angie
Björk = Bjözza
Shakira = Shaks
Sophie Monk = Sophs
King Kong = Konga
Johnny Depp = Deppsy
Deni Hines = Hinesy/Denners
Narnia = Narnzy
Russell Crowe 4 years ago = Our Russell
Russell Crowe today = New Zealand's Russell
Lee Harding = Douchebag
Previous language lessons: #1 #2 #3 #4
What's with Bris Vegas? What's your Australian nickname? Add a comment..