Friday, October 21, 2005

HSC 2005

The most important exam in the universe has come full orbit. All the anxiety sweat culminating over the past 2 years for Year 12 students is about to flood forth drowning all. The H.S.C. (Higher School Certificate) is in some ways the world's largest memory competition. If you've ever been to one of those "Improve your HSC marks" talks, they all say to follow the syllabus like it's a the pied piper and you're a plague-ridden rat.
When I think back to this time last year, everything was cold and dark. Late nights and late periods personified the time due to all the stress. From now until university offers are released, all students will go on a wild apple-bobbing of emotions, it's ridiculously draining. The timeline goes:

H.S.C (now) --> Schoolies --> HSC marks released --> UAI released --> Christmas --> Kwanzaa --> University Offers Released (January)

You'll have to put up with selective school people complaining about their awful 99.80 (Especially you North Sydney Boys/Girls people). I heard that at many selective schools they talk about getting their ".95" or ".90" because the 99 is implied. How terrifying since a 99 will already open you up to almost EVERY course available in N.S.W, it's important not to lose perspective. I came from a non-selective, non-religious, non-uniform, non-single sex, non-competitive school where many people chose their H.S.C. subjects based on how many free periods their timetable would give them. I dreaded my results at the time but looking back, I did fine. The second you enroll in uni, all that H.S.C. stuff seems stupid and overrated and you'll never need to use the words "Composer","Responder" or "Modules" ever again. In fact, for a month after, I refused to use the letters H, S and C as an act of rebellion.

Fun things to do...

If you're on the bus or train, seated near someone wearing an "05" school jersey you need to start talking really loudly.

- Pretend you're talking on the phone to your friend about how your father, the head of the school board, said that "This is year will be the HARDEST YET! And Uni entry scores are definitely going to skyrocket! "
- Pull a Homer and start whispering subliminal messages through a toilet roll "You're gonna fail... You're gonna fail... "
- If they look like they're on their way to doing an exam, start having a full blown mental breakdown. Tears, foetal position, incontinence.. go all out.
- Write equations on the back of their neck so they get accused of cheating.
- Walk straight up to them and say "You're going to fail your H.S.C!!!!" then when they look at you terrified and say "WHAT?!?!" say "I said, do you have the time?".
- Sing Milkshake by Kelis, they'll have it stuck in their heads the whole exam.

How was/is your H.S.C experience? What other cruel things can you do to H.S.C.ers? Add a comment..

Posted by tonch at 2:09 am | 41 comments

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