Sydney Spy Classic
Chances are, if you're reading a Lonely Planet's Guide to Sydney you'll see an image like this on the front.
An image that may have been on a shortlist for the cover.. is one like this
The RTA (Roads and Traffic Authority). I believe in America they're called the DMV but universally, they're known as painful suffering. Even a pixie in love would have their day ruined by a trip down to the RTA. The carpeting, walls, seats, counters, ceiling and general ambience are all striking tones of government grey-blue. That's hardly an excuse for the sheer boredom-induced bitterness emitted by all the people who work there though.I recall my first visit...
The sun was shining and I was feeling chipper and energetic. I entered the electronic doors of the RTA only to be greeted by a cold blast of air. Perhaps it was the rush of air caused by the fleeing souls of RTA employees or perhaps it was the air conditioning. The sub-zero temperature appeared to be emanating from the colour scheme that also left me cold. Regardless, my spirits remained high as I took a ticket from the machine, took a seat and waited. My elation was slowing dropping as the electronic display remained motionless past the second equinox.
It was quite a long wait, by the end, my beard had icicles growing in it despite the fact that I had shaved merely hours ago. Finally my number was called, walking felt like a vaguely familiar sensation as I advanced towards the counter. The woman working looked at me with dead eyes. I mustered a smile just to be polite but that only made her resentfulness for my youth and freedom only worse. After an exchange of forms and broken English, I was free.. and the sun never seemed as bright ever again.
The staff could use some vacuous motivational plaques. Plus the RTA overall is in severe need of a Queer Eye make-over. I'm sure a two-tonal dye job and some " not shaving against the grain" lessons could turn RTA-drab into Australian drama series-drab.