Madonna and Robbie Williams will be resigning soon since the likes of Amity Dry will be starting fires under their feet with her new album, True To Me. That's a slightly better name than her first album Amity Dry - The Lighthouse which to me always sounded like an order from her husband "Amity! Dry the Lighthouse!"

I found a preview copy of her new album in a dumpster outside a radio station so here's my review.

Amity Dry - True To Me

Track 1: Rollercoaster

The first single that has tearing apart 2CH's "Music You Can Flatline To" charts. Amity's brilliantly unique metaphor comparing life to a rollercoaster going up and down, sends shivers down my spine.

Track 2: True To Me

You can see why her name is Amity Dry with music like this. Her dry vocals cascade over the amity-esque instruments on lend from a ringtone website. Amity sings "My life is like a lighthouse/no not like the other lighthouse/a new lighthouse/cuz it spreads out light/and stops stuff hitting rocks".

Track 3: Who I Am

Amity must have been shopping at the "Rock Star" section of K-mart for this self-confessional song about Amity's life struggles. "Hey man!/You're out of line!/Don't cut in fronna me in the Lowes shopper's line!" are lyrics we can all take something from.

Tracks 4-9: (Assorted)

Sorry, these tracks were completely indistinguishable from each other. I think I heard something about "hope" and "like a bird" in between seizures.

Track 10: Without You

Amity's world class vocals put Mariah Carey's forehead-popping Live 8 performance to shame in this modern 90s power ballad that would bore a goldfish's 5 second memory span. Watch out Australian Idol 3 winner, this could be your first single!

Track 11: The Lighthouse (Extended Remix)

I wasn't able to hear much of this remix, something went wrong with my CD player. The man at the shop just shook his head and gave me a prescription for lithium.

Overall, I'd say that RSLs around the country will be thrilled that they'll have music that their patrons can slowly gum their processed fish and chips along with.